How to Influence Your Family
Acts 16:16-34
When Woodrow Wilson was president of Princeton University, he spoke these words to a parents group:
"I get many letters from you parents about your children. You want to know why we people up here in Princeton cant make more out of them and do more for them. Let me tell you the reason we cant. It may shock you just a little, but I am not trying to be rude. The reason is that they are your sons, reared in your homes, blood of your blood, bone of your bone. They have absorbed the ideals of your homes. You have formed and fashioned them. They are your sons. In those malleable, moldable years of their lives you have forever left your imprint upon them."
Let me ask you tonight? What are you doing to influence your family in a godliness?
I am not sure? I want to but how do I start?
Tonight, we'll see 4 practical ways that you can lead your family.
Heres the story. Paul and Silas were preaching in the town of Philippi. They raised a bit of a ruckus and wound up in trouble with the city officials, who ordered them to be stripped, beaten, and thrown in jail. The city officials told the jailer to guard Paul and Silas carefully. So the jailer put them in a dungeon and placed them in stocks. Late into the night, Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns loud enough for all to hear. Suddenly, there was a mighty earthquake, shaking the foundations of the jail. The doors flew open and everyones chains came loose. The jailer (who probably lived next door to the jail) panicked. It was his job to guard Paul and Silas, and now it appeared they had escaped. He knew that his punishment would certainly be slow, painful death, so he took out his sword and prepared to take his own life. At this point Paul called out to him, "Dont harm yourself! We are all here!"
This was more than the jailer could take. He had been intrigued, Im sure, when he heard Paul and Silas singing hymns after being beaten and bound. Now they had a chance to escape and they didnt! He suddenly realized they had something in their life that was sadly lacking in his own. He asked them, "What must I do to be saved?" Paul said, "Believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be savedyou and your whole household." Before the night was through, the jailer and his family had all committed their lives to Christ and had been baptized in his name.
The story of the jailer ends here, but in these few verses we can see four examples he set for his family that helped him establish himself as the spiritual leader of his home. If you want to give your family the leadership they needif you want to mold the future student of Princeton, coach a winning teamthese are four examples they need to see in you. First...
Take a Spiritual Inventory.
Every man must ask himself, "Where do I stand spiritually? What is my relationship with God?" During my ministry more than one man has told me that his wife handles the religion in the family. Many parents send their children to church because they think that the kids will learn good moral lessons thereand of course they willbut the lessons will lose their impact if the children dont see evidence of your own spirituality.
The salvation of the jailers household began with his own realization that he was spiritually empty and needed something more in his life. So he asked Paul, "What must I do to be saved?"
Spiritual leadership begins with taking a personal spiritual inventory, and beginning the process of letting God have control of your life. A second way to lead your family by example is...
Treat Others With Dignity.
Paul and Silas were this jailers responsibility, and at first the jailer did the very least he had to do in order to take care of them. They had been stripped, severely beaten and sent to jail. The jailers response was to toss them in the dungeon and shackle them. He wasnt concerned that they were bruised and bloody; he was more concerned with his own well-being. Then, during the night, he had a spiritual awakening. What did he do next?
(v. 33) At that hour of the night the jailer took them and washed their wounds.
Paul and Silas were still his prisoners; he couldnt set them free. But he did treat them with dignity and compassion: he washed their wounds. He could have done that when they were first thrown into his jail, but he was a different man then. A spiritual man treats others with dignity.
A man once told me "My father views everyone as an opponent, and all social interaction as competition. He is always afraid someone is going to get the best of him." Can you see how this attitude prevents the father from having a spiritual influence on his children? The third way to lead your family by example is...
3. Practice Generosity.
(v. 34) The jailer brought them into his house and set a meal before them.
The jailer went above and beyond his call of duty by bringing prisoners into his home and feeding them. Remember, they were living in a culture that didnt take meals lightly. Food wasnt always in abundance, and men had to be protective of what was in the cupboard. In doing this, he made a point for his family to see: "My new religion makes a difference in the way we share with others."
A woman once made an offhanded remark that was more significant than she may have realized. She said that for years her ex-husband had been a "deadbeat" dad, always behind on child-support and never available for his daughters. She said, "But hes real religious now and pays his child-support on time." In fact, she complained that now her daughters want to be with him every weekend so they can go to church with hima great imposition on her schedule.
There is a connection between your attitude toward money and your ability to influence your family. Now of course there is a difference between generosity and irresponsibility, and your children have to learn these lessons. But if your family consistently gets the message that your money is more important to you than anything else, you will have a hard time providing leadership for them in other areas of life. A fourth way you can lead your family by example...
4. Practice obedience.
(v. 33) Immediately he and all his family were baptized.
The first step in following Christ is identifying with him in baptism. Baptism symbolizes that you are dying to an old way of life, and rising to walk with Christ in a new way of life.
The jailer showed his family that when it came to obeying Christ, he was going to lead the way by his own example. It stands to reason that if he was willing to be baptized in the middle of the night, he was also willing to be obedient in other areas.
If you want to lead your family by the example of your obedience, here are some areas where you can start.
Attend church.
Pray with them. This may seem difficult to do at first, since prayer is such a personal thing and we men are terminally macho. Begin, at least, to say prayers at meal time.
Have a family devotion. This causes many fathers to panic. (And many children to be overcome with a sense of dread.) It doesnt have to be that way. To begin with, if your family is too active to be at home at the same time every night, start with having devotions once or twice a week. And it doesnt have to be like a church service. Dont be rigid about it; let them offer input. Tell them, "Were definitely going to have a devotional time together. What are your suggestions for how we do it?"
Serve with them. Give your family the opportunity to see you serving othersin a ministry at the church, in a soup kitchen, in a short-term missions trip, or some such thing.
It is important that your family hear you say: "I do these things because God wants me to do these things, and to the best of my ability I will do what he wants me to do."
Conclusion
We all want to manage a winning team, right? Every father wants to have a positive influence on his family. That goes without saying. Understand: you cannot be a positive influence without being a spiritual leader. And there is only one way to accomplish thisyou lead by example.
You are called to be the spiritual leader of your family; that means youve got to be spiritual. For some of you that means that you need to begin to show your family an example of obedience. For some of you that means you need to make some changes in the way you treat others, and in your attitude toward money. For all of us today it means that we must answer the challenge to lead our families by our example. Youve been given a team to manage. You can have a winning team, if youre willing to be the example they need for you to be.
A young lad walked up to his father many years ago, and said with deep earnestness: "Dad, if you dont do something to help me, I am going to commit suicide tonight!" The father who had been busy making money, was astonished and stunned to know that anything was wrong with his son.
The boy went on to relate his ventures into sin and the contracting of a social disease. The father immediately sent the boy to an institution for treatment. In a year he came home and was believed to be cured.
This young man married a beautiful girl who soon gave birth to a son. When the baby was born, the mother paid with her life. The young father, already overwhelmed with grief, had to bear the added tragic news that the baby was deficient physically and mentally. In desperation, he picked up a revolver, went outside and took his own life. The story did not end there.
The baby lived. He stood one day in a long line of people in Buffalo, New York, waiting to shake the hand of the President of the United States, William McKinley. As he grasped the hand of the President, he drew a gun and took the presidents life. Not long afterwards, he was brought to justice and was executed.
Will you invest the time, energy, and commitment that God demands of those wishing to fulfill the role of a husband and father?
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